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Encouraging Heroes. You can be one too.

When you are in a marriage, you are an equal part of either the problem or the solution. People do not think of divorce in a bad way anymore and this is not a good sign for future generations. Divorce is not just about a relationship ending, it can have a significant impact upon your emotional state and your financial state as well. That is why you want to do everything possible to keep your marriage strong.

Approximately fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. You do not have to be in this statistic if you are willing to put your all into your relationship. The key to any good relationship, whether friendship or marriage, is communication. By learning how to communicate and listen to your spouse, you can make your relationship better and help to decrease the chance of divorce. Where do you start?

Ask for What You Want in Concrete Terms

If you do not know what you want, how can your spouse give you what you want? By being able to tell them what you need from your relationship in very clear terms is essential. Ask your spouse what you can do to help them feel better about the relationship. When you both know what you need for a satisfying relationship, you can better gauge if your needs are not being met. It is important that you are sure that you are ready to….

Hear What They Have to Say

Many times, we think that we are ready to hear about what we are doing wrong, but we really are not. This is when we become defensive and miss out on what our spouse is saying entirely. Make sure that you are ready to hear what they are going to say by preparing yourself for it emotionally. It is not going to be easy, but it can be helpful to your relationship to get it all out in the open.

Give Them a Break

When you see them making an effort, then let them know how much you appreciate it. Even if it is not exactly what you had in mind, the simple fact that they are trying should be something that you acknowledge. Give them a break and concentrate on meeting what they want to be sure that they know that you are trying, too. Realize that neither one of you are perfect and accept the faults by just dealing with them in a rational way.

Keep Talking

Without conversation, your marriage is doomed. Make sure that you talk to them about what is going on with you, your dreams for the future, your goals, and ask them for details about their day. Keeping the lines of communication open is the only chance that you have to make your marriage last a lifetime. If you cannot communicate, then you have no chance of keeping your marriage intact and being happy in your marriage for many years to come.

Use Positive Words

You want to banish two things from your communication. Yelling and negative words. Yelling is not communicating. That is why you want to be sure that you keep your voice down and under control and use words that are positive. Tell them “thank you” when they do something special for you. Say, “I love you” before you go to sleep and “Good-bye” when you leave for work. Positive words breed positive actions.

Divorce is all encompassing. It affects a couple and their family emotionally in a big way. The loss of a relationship is one that can be felt strongly and if there was abuse, it can be even more damaging. Loss of self-esteem, anger, stress, and other feelings can be something that you have to deal with for years.

In addition, there are financial repercussions to finalize a divorce and to make changes in the future, such as going back to court to modify spousal support in California. Being able to avoid it entirely should be your goal. That is why it is important to work on your communication skills.

Two-way communication is important for a strong marriage. By honing your communication skills and doing everything possible to make your marriage stronger, you can possibly prevent the worst possible-divorce

About the Author:

Making a marriage stronger is something that Melissa Cameron is very passionate about, simply due to her over 15 year marriage. When she learned that a friend was looking on www.cadivorce.com to find a lawyer, she knew is was time to write articles about the subject. Her tips can help to strengthen and save a marriage.

Earnest Parenting: help for parents who want strong marriages.

Image courtesy of jcoterhal via Creative Commons license, some rights reserved.