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Encouraging Heroes. You can be one too.

Regardless of if you have been married for just one year or you are celebrating your Golden Wedding anniversary, it is crucial to keep romance alive in your relationship. Romance is the main ingredient that adds sparkle not just to your relationship, but to your life.

Sadly we live such busy lives, running a home, career, kids and all the other commitments we find it so hard to say no to, that we frequently forget to connect. All it takes is just five minutes to stop and look at that person you love so much and remember why you love each other and what is so special about them.

So here are some ideas that you can use in your daily life, that need not cost anything, but will just tell your partner you care:-

  1. Make a card or write a letter, telling them the main reasons that you love them for. Do this when you have a quiet half an hour and can really think. Praise them for things you think they have done well and encourage them with projects they are involved in. Never say “but” or criticise.
  2. Bring your partner breakfast in bed. You could make this a tradition and take it in turns to have one morning a week when one of you can lie in and the other does the breakfast. Key to this is keeping the kids downstairs so that the lucky person can really relax.
  3. Try to find even ten minutes every day when you can sit and talk. This has to be when the kids have gone to bed and the TV is switched off. Give each other your full attention and listen to their joys and sorrows of that day.
  4. Have a date night at least once a month. This is preferably a night out at a restaurant or party or show. Getting dressed up, and going somewhere where you can talk and appreciate each other, without interruption is ideal.
  5. Notice when your partner has had a change of hairstyle, colour or has bought a new dress, suit, sweater, whatever. Let them know you notice. Tell them how good they look, if you don’t like whatever it is, be honest, but counterbalance it with what you do like.
  6. If you have to go away on business one weekend, make sure the next one is with the family.
  7. Celebrate Valentines Day somehow. It can be a bunch of flowers, some favourite chocolates or just a card that tells them how much you love them. But if finances can stretch to it something truly luxurious and sexy will always go down well.

I read an article about a palliative nurse who worked with many people coming to the end of their lives. There were various common regrets that people had but one of the most common was – I wish I had not worked so hard.

Unfortunately we live in a consumer society and we never have enough money to have all the things we want. But in the final analysis the only thing that matters is the relationships you have with your partner and children. You reap what you sow, love is the healer of everything.

Children grow up so fast, I am now seeing it with my granddaughter, it seems like yesterday my daughter had her and she will be three in February. Even more amazing is that my daughter is thirty four and a woman with a life of her own.

None of us want to look back on life and feel we were not sufficiently involved in our children’s precious moments, or that we did not give our partner time, understanding and love.

Christobel lives in London, working in publishing and running her website for grandparents. She firmly believes that whatever your age we should all remember Valentines Day and take the opportunity to spoil each other.

Earnest Parenting: help for parents who know that romance can help keep them together.