Earnest Parenting.com logo

Encouraging Heroes. You can be one too.

Divorce is like an unexpected flood that flows through a house and leaves destruction in its wake. While divorce divides a family, it’s up to parents to keep their family functioning in the midst of the upheaval.

Because parents are dealing with their own emotional issues during a divorce, they might not realize the impact the separation is having on their children. Children internalize the pain of a divorce and can carry it into adulthood, if they do not seek counseling or find positive ways to deal with these long-term emotional issues.

Keeping your family going

There are ways to maintain your family’s well-being, as much as possible, while working through your divorce. Here are five tips that will help:

1. Establish a daily routine.

Children need to have stability during a time of instability. A routine of school, extracurricular activities, and socializing will help create stability in their lives.

2. Have meals together.

Take the effort to coordinate schedules and have meals together as frequent as possible. Do not allow your kids to bring smart phones or games to the table. Let your kids talk about whatever they want. Listen closely to what they are saying and be on the alert for potential problems.

3. Plan family activities.

Going to a movie, a kids entertainment center or visiting family and friends will help your children maintain “normalcy” as much as possible.

4. Ask your spouse to leave the house.

Do not allow your spouse to live with you during, and after, the divorce just to save money. This will confuse your children and give them false hope that you and your spouse will stay together.

5. Don’t use your children as spies.

When your children are visiting your spouse, do not ask them whether your spouse has a girlfriend or boyfriend. Asking your kids personal information about their mother or father puts them “in the middle.” They may feel as if they are betraying the other parent by “telling” on them, yet they may feel you will get upset with them if they don’t tell you what you want to know. Don’t put your kids in this situation.

While a flood comes unexpectedly, the water levels decrease over time. The same can be said about divorce, the pain eases over time. If you need help in navigating your children through the divorce process or you need legal representation, then contact experts such as those with Donald B. Phelps Corporation a family lawyer in Vancouver for assistance.