When you decide that your marriage needs to end and you must separate, it can be one of the most difficult times of your life. There are so many aspects of family life that are so drastically different after a divorce, leaving your lives completely changed. But a divorce is something that may ultimately be for the best, because when a marriage has broken down and you and your partner are not together you will be happier people, and better parents for your children as well. So if you can handle your divorce in an intelligent and gentle way, it doesn’t have to be a devastating or traumatizing experience for your children. There are three main aspects of a divorce that must be dealt with: coping, communication, and kids.
Coping with a divorce can be one of the biggest challenges you will ever face. Ending a relationship like a marriage is an event that will cause a death and rebirth in your life, which feels painful at the time. When coping with a divorce, it’s important to recognize that many feelings will come up. Feel those feelings, and don’t judge them. You might feel heartbroken, overwhelmed, panicky, depressed, and you might even feel joyful at times. These emotions might come and go, making you feel like you’re on a roller coaster. This is normal, and the more support you can find during this time, the better.
Surround yourself with family, close friends, and people who love you. This is your time for healing, so do the things that help you reconnect with yourself. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be top notch at your job at this point. Your emotional self needs to heal and needs the time and space to do so. So give yourself permission to function at less than your best for some time during and after a divorce. The most important thing is self-love during this time.
When going through a divorce, communication is more important than ever. This means with both your ex-spouse, friends, family and your children. You’ll need to have clear communication with your spouse when it comes to who is taking care of the children and when. You will need to work out a custody agreement with a lawyer; go to www.browntheis.com to learn more about divorce lawyers that can help. Even with the custody agreement in place, good communication is essential because with children involved, you will need to have some sort of relationship with your ex-spouse. Your life will be improved if this relationship can be a congenial one.
With children involved in a divorce, things can get messy quickly. There are such young people involved that are very impressionable during this vulnerable time in their lives. It’s so important that kids know that the divorce is not about them whatsoever, and that they will never be placed in the middle. Parents should pay extra attention and take extra care of their children during the divorce time. Show your love and support, and understand that your kids may not be at their very best during school and activities. Let them know that it’s okay to feel whatever they feel, and give them a safe space to express anything that’s troubling them.
Earnest Parenting: help for parents who are dealing with divorce.